The Pathos of Smee

I wasn’t really planning to visit Disney Springs today. The plan was to renew my Annual Pass at Guest Relations in the Magic Kingdom, then see how much heat and stupidity I could take before retreating to Port Orleans Riverside for my discounted early dinner (available 19 July through 30 September 2017 at ten participating table service restaurants) at Boatwright’s.

The scene at the Transportation and Ticket Center around 11:45 a.m. suggested that I might want to avoid the MK for a while. So I took the monorail from there to the Contemporary and as we passed the mob scene at the Magic Kingdom entrance I felt that I had made the right decision.

As I await the bus for Disney Springs I note that Space Potato is sprouting.

The atmosphere in Guest Relations at the Springs is much more relaxed, cool, and comfortable than it is at the Magic Kingdom anyway. After a short wait in a comfy armchair, I am assisted in my transaction by cast member Jeremiah who gets me all set for another year (plus one month!) of Florida-resident, monthly-payment indenture to the Mouse.

Not having had any breakfast, I am eager to eat something when my renewal is complete. D-Luxe Burger is right next door to Guest Relations and currently they offer the 45th-Anniversary Passholder Discount of 20% so lunch there seems no worse than a hole in the head although it undoubtedly is. The view from the counter where I am seated is nice, though.

The post-prandial sky is pretty but I can view it only through the sweat-and-sunscreen combo that is dripping into my eyes.

The enormous Cave of Wonders that is the World of Disney store is an air-conditioned refuge, where Iago, Aladdin, and Abu hover above the teeming masses of shopping drones.

Also where a fiddling swine takes his shower while somebody big and bad chases him in a flying house with gossamer wings. It’s just one of those things.

Back outside, I somehow resist the allure of chocolate in spite of Domingo‘s tempting assortment.

The real San Francisco treat. This mural also advises us on how to pronounce “Gear-ar-dellies.”

Darting back in to some airco, I meet up with a party crasher as she alights from her coach to great fanfare, courtesy of Lladró and Arribas Brothers.

How the other half sees through the coach:

Nearby, a girl just wants to have fun. On a carousel pony.

Farther along, beyond the area now occupied by Disney PhotoPass people where Guest Relations used to be before the Great Upheaval, in retail outlets whose names now escape me, deadpan flight attendants invite me to journey where I already am.

That’s progress.

Now the outdoor trudge to the dock for the boat to Port Orleans Riverside. On the way, a veritable flamboyance reminds us that Disney Springs is celebrating Christmas in July. Behold one flamingo of the many.

Fulton’s Crab House, then Paddlefish/Schmaddlefish, she will always be the Empress Lily to me.

I will not be going up in a beautiful balloon today.

In the lobby of Disney’s Port Orleans Riverside Resort, formerly–and forever to me–known as Dixie Landings, a child wishes upon a star. That he or she might get it back.

Let us feel the patriotism from and the air cooling simultaneously.

And here’s why:

After an adult beverage in the River Roost lounge, it’s time to check in for that early dinner. (An oatwright is someone who makes oats, right?)

Oh, now I get it.

“Amelia’s Salad: Fresh Greens, Seasonal Ingredients, and House Vinaigrette.” (Spinach, Cherry Tomatoes, Croutons.) Actually quite refreshing. Feel free to ignore my cornbread crumbs.

I had thought I would have the Boatwright’s Jambalaya (“A New Orleans dinnertime favorite!”) but Dawn described the Lake Charles Risotto in such glowing terms that it became my selection. “Fresh Corn Risotto with Seasonal Vegetables [peas] and Seared Sustainable Seafood [blackened snapper]”. Also very generously green-garnished.

It is delicious. And as I should hope you would guess, no dessert was required.

After dinner, he offers to draw me around the property in a carriage for twenty minutes for 45 dollars. Under current meteorological and financial conditions, I decline.

From Riverside I take a bus back over to the Magic Kingdom, where I must go since I am parked in the Trial & Tribulation Center.

One’s way to the bus stop is, naturally, via Fulton’s General Store. Where it is demonstrated why you shouldn’t send some people up a ladder ever. Especially not to fool around with a stove.

Whilst aspiring to be stevedores, somebody’s nephews…

stun somebody.

Gift shops can be dangerous places.

The trip to the MK is effected in one of those double-length accordion buses. Luckily I have a seat and for most of the time, the sun is not in my face. Snooze!

The Kingdom is still too hot and crowded to be enjoyed the way I prefer, so I limit myself to a grand circle tour of Tomorrowland on the Peoplemover. At the Cheshire Café I greet cast member Marceau and obtain my Raspberry Lemonade Slushy, which functions as my dessert, I guess.

My feet are tired but they are not crying out in pain the way they ordinarily would have been by this time, thanks to my new shoes. Wish I had gotten them a long time ago.

Meanwhile, on this date in 1936, Alpine Climbers was released.